To be loved

To be loved

Today on the pod, I’m joined by world-renowned trauma expert and the author of To Be Loved, Dr. Frank Anderson.

If you’ve ever wondered why certain behaviors like overworking, people-pleasing, or even overachieving seem to control your life, this episode is for you. Dr. Anderson shares how many of these patterns are rooted in unhealed trauma and he offers powerful insights on how to break free.
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Dr. Anderson grew up in a household filled with pain and secrets. He was sent to therapy as a child simply for being “different” and spent years navigating a difficult family dynamic. But instead of letting those experiences define him, he turned his struggles into a unique approach to trauma healing, blending neuroscience with compassion.
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His story is a reminder that trauma isn’t your identity—it’s what happened to you. And healing doesn’t mean erasing the past, but finding a new way to live with it.
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We also talked about why forgiveness can’t be forced, the importance of experiencing the opposite of your trauma, and how to know when you’re truly ready to reconnect with someone who has hurt you.
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If you’re ready to start rewriting your story, dive into this conversation:

1:15 - What is trauma and how do you heal from it

7:40 - Why we choose our own suffering

17:22 - Here's what trauma does to your memory

21:17 - What is on the other side of trauma?

28:13 - Why therapy alone cannot heal trauma

31:55 - The first step to healing trauma

39:35 - Why most people are not ready to help others

43:38 - Why men don't do therapy

57:00 - What most people get wrong about healing trauma

You can check out the full episode here, follow Dr. Frank on the socials here, and get more information about his new book here.

If you watch on Youtube, I’m curious to hear which parts of our conversation resonated with you the most. Let me know in the comments below the video, and I’ll reply asap.

Enjoy,

Light

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